I survived.
I survived Halloween year two.
I only had a few bitchy moments, one emotional breakdown and many thoughts of wanting to make my new profile picture me flipping everyone off all in the same day.
I'd like to think that I survived this first holiday of the season successfully.
Is it bad that I am already looking forward to January? I kinda feel like Green Day, and substituting "the holidays" for September (song: "Wake Me Up When September Ends").
It's true. I am so looking forward to January 1, and it's because that means the holidays are over, and (hopefully) I survived.
I am finished with all of my Christmas shopping already, and I think subconsciously that will help Christmas to come and go quickly.
I used to love the holidays. They always seemed to go so quickly, and it made me sad. I wished it would be the Christmas all the time! Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the holidays still...kinda, but something is missing.
Someone is missing.
It's just different.
Part of me thought round two would be easier...and parts are, but overall it's still so tough.
I find myself stuck in the questions.
What would Jonathan be dressed up as for Halloween?
How much of his candy would we allow him to actually eat?
What food would he like from Thanksgiving dinner?
What would Christmas morning look like?
Would he get into his presents early?
Oh, I could write questions for days... There are just so many questions that will remain unanswered.
I'm not trying to live two parallel lives, but sometimes it's hard not to.
I know I need to give myself grace. Especially during this holiday season.
