Yesterday 12:52pm:
Zac throws up on our bed.
Now, he had been fussing a bit beforehand, so I thought he might have just worked himself up and made himself sick.
By 2:30pm:
Zac throws up a total of 7 times.
The stomach bug had officially hit Zac.
One of the times Zac got threw up, it ended up all over me. My shirt, bra, pants and underwear were saturated. I had just gotten initiated into motherhood.
It was so sad and heartbreaking seeing him so scared each time he got sick. After talking to to the nurse, we ended up taking him in to make sure he wasn't more sick than he appeared. By the evening, he was able to keep a few ounces of Pedialite and formula down. He also got some good sleep last night...even though momma didn't.
He is 100% better today.
It's no secret that I'm a germaphobe. And I deep down I really think I have Emetophobia (the fear of throwing up). I can literally count the times I have thrown up in my life on one hand. While working at the elementary school, if a kid was throwing up, I was the one rushing out of the room. I couldn't handle it.
I used to judge the parents who would come in to the office to pick of their sick child and hug and kiss them when they'd come out of the nurse's office. But now I get it. I hugged, held and kissed Zac all afternoon long. Trying to comfort him while he was so pale and lethargic in my arms. I knew he was sick, and I knew that there was a big chance I could get sick from loving on him, but I didn't care. I wanted to take care of my precious, sick boy. The love I have for him outweighed any fear of getting sick that came to mind. I didn't care.
In addition to overcoming my own fear of germs, I feel like we conquered another fear. Before yesterday, I had never had a child get sick that didn't die as a result. Between Jonathan and the miscarriage, sickness equaled death. This is a huge underlying reason behind my fear of germs. I have a fear of Zac getting sick and dying. I have dreaded the day that he got sick for the first time because of what the outcome could be. Even on the way to the doctors yesterday, I was crying because I was so fearful that he so sick he would need to get admitted to the hospital.
A marble moment was when we saw a neighbor at the doctor's office with his own sick child. We were unable to get in to see our own doctor, but the neighbor was glad we were able to see their doctor that afternoon. Just having that encouragement of a new doctor put this momma a little at ease. It was definitely a marble moment that God was in control.
I'm so thankful that Zac is fine today and that yesterday wasn't worse. I feel like I can conquer the world because I survived the past 24 hours. It is more than just Zac being sick for the first time. I feel like I tackled a huge fear in my life and won. I'm not saying that I'm not a germphobe anymore, but I feel like I took a huge step in winning that battle yesterday.
I survived.
